7 Stoic Reminders for Difficult Days
On some days, it can all become just a bit too much.
An unexpected [and unwelcome, for that matter] email arrives. Your boss moves next week’s deadline to tomorrow. The washing machine decides now is the perfect time to stop working. The office idiot says something that rubs you up the wrong way.
On their own, none of these things is a major problem. But taken together, it can easily leave you feeling overwhelmed.
I’ve noticed that difficult days rarely happen because of one event, even a significant one. Mostly, they’re the result of a bunch of smaller frustrations arriving like buses, all at the same time.
Like tabs left open in a web browser, each one consumes a little more attention until the whole system starts to slow down.
The Stoics understood this, but still, they didn’t yearn for a life free from setbacks either.
Instead, they offered practical reminders for navigating difficult moments with a little more perspective and a lot less frustration.
Here are seven worth remembering.
1. Focus on What You Can Control
When something goes wrong, our minds immediately start wandering into territory that can be difficult, if not impossible, to influence.
Some typical day-to-day worries might be:
- What someone thinks
- What someone might do
- What could happen tomorrow.
These are external actions and events, so the problem is that none of them are within our control.
The Stoics made a simple distinction between what belongs to us and what doesn’t:
- Our actions belong to us
- Our choices belong to us
- Our attitude belongs to us.
Everything else is outside of these parameters.
Whenever I’m having a difficult day, I’ve found it useful to ask a simple question: What can I actually do right now that is within my control?
The answer is usually smaller than I hoped, but far more useful than worrying.
2. This Moment Will Pass
Difficult days can feel like they’re going to last a lifetime.
They never do, of course.
And what I’ve found is, the calmer I remain at the time, the better the chance I’ll either forget most of it or rarely think about it anymore. Making a fuss, emoting, even getting into a conflict, that’s the part I’ll dwell on.
The Stoics regularly reminded themselves that everything changes.
Good, bad, and embarrassing moments pass.
Even the things that feel enormous today eventually become part of your history.
That doesn’t solve the problem.
But it does help restore perspective.
3. You Don't Have to React Immediately
One of the most expensive habits in modern life is instant reaction.
Hands up anyone who has not thought things through, reacted in the moment, and regretted it.
It could be things like:
- Instant replies.
- Instant opinions.
- Instant outrage.
The Stoics encouraged something that feels surprisingly rare today. And that is to pause.
Why? Because:
- Not every email requires an immediate response.
- Not every criticism deserves a defence.
- Not every frustration needs to become a bigger problem.
A short pause often prevents a long regret.
4. Obstacles Are Part of the Process
This is one of my favourite Stoic world views.
We often treat obstacles as proof that something is wrong. The Stoics saw things differently.
They understood that obstacles are not interruptions. They are life itself.
Think about some everyday challenges:
- The difficult conversation.
- The failed attempt.
- The unexpected setback.
Those experiences aren’t separate from the journey, they’re a core part of it.
What I’ve found is that more often than not, the thing slowing me down is also teaching me something useful.
And the result might mean a better outcome, at the time or in the future.
5. Other People's Opinions Are Their Responsibility
This one is easier to understand than it is to put into practice.
The thing is, most of us want to be liked and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The problems start when we allow somebody else’s opinion to dictate our mood, confidence, or decisions. To coin a popular phrase right now, letting them live rent free in your head.
You could do everything right and still be criticised. You can probably think of an example from your past right now.
The Stoics recognised that reputation is only partially within our control.
But the thing that is in our control…character.
All you need to do is focus on acting well, and leave other people to their opinions.
6. Progress Beats Perfection
A difficult day can often result in all-or-nothing thinking.
- You miss one workout.
- You lose focus.
- You make a mistake.
- You get 95% of the good stuff into that report and then spend hours perfecting the little things that no one will even notice.
In the moment, these things can feel soul crushing, even though they shouldn’t be.
Progress is rarely a straight line, and most worthwhile things involve setbacks, detours, and yes, bad days.
The Stoics weren’t interested in perfection; they concerned themselves with improvement.
Small, incremental improvements count, especially on difficult days.
7. You've Survived Every Difficult Day So Far
This might seem a bit obvious, but take some time to think it over.
It really is surprisingly powerful.
You’ve faced challenges before. You’ve felt uncertain and perhaps even nervous, scared, intimidated, anxious, or worse.
But here’s the point, you got through it.
Maybe not perfectly or elegantly, but you made it here.
When you’re having a difficult day, it’s worth remembering that your track record for surviving difficult days is 100%.
Final Thoughts
Stoicism isn’t about burying your head in the sand and pretending everything is fine.
It’s not about suppressing emotions or becoming indifferent to life’s problems.
At its core, Stoicism is about responding thoughtfully rather than impulsively reacting. It’s about maintaining perspective when you’re up against it.
On difficult days, sometimes that can be enough to see you through.
So, if you find yourself having a challenging day, remember you’re not to solve every problem. Use these tips and just navigate the next step forward.